Confessions of Your Girlfriend: Why she wants you to pick dinner

It's Monday again and I'm still wondering why we even have this day. I mean come on! It's the worst.  Anyways as I sat in my seat on Friday before getting off of work and my boyfriend sends me the dreaded text that happens ever so often.  The one that says "you pick where we eat tonight!"  And I roll my eyes and I dread making my answer.  And so do you. Which is why I'm here to solve all of your problems.

1. We don't know your budget.  Last week you took us somewhere expensive and the week before that you took us to that snazzy restaurant by the lake and the week before we spent the day baking expensive foods and now we're wondering if we're asking for too much.  So when you ask us to pick dinner we have no idea where we should choose and what might hurt your wallet.  If you really want us to choose give us choices.  This way you're not on your last dime when we finish our delicious meal.  

2.  We don't know what you want to eat.  Maybe seafood is the opposite of what you're feeling like for tonight, but how could we know without your input?  Or maybe we don't want a burger but we could definitely eat a burger if you wanted one but you couldn't eat Italian.  We seriously don't know what you want and quite frankly we've stopped trying to figure it out, especially when it comes to food and football.  

3.  We don't want you to suffer through something you don't want.  I know it's hard to believe, but we do have hearts.  And you're Prince Charming and will eat wherever we say but we don't really want that.  We want you to enjoy it too.  

4.  We don't want to hear about it later.  If we end up eating somewhere you don't really care for and then it's expensive too, the whole car ride home we'll hear "We could've went to (really great wing place) and got twice as much for less than that."  

5.  We're really set on pleasing you.  We have no idea what it is but when you ask us to choose we really just want to go somewhere you want.  Must be this "Love Spell" thing we're in. 

So do us a favor and choose where we eat tonight.  Whether it be fancy or a hole in the wall we'll experience it with you and that's all that matters.  If the food is good that's a plus too.

As always just for you,

M.

11 Things They Didn't Tell you About College

1. You have to walk to class in the rain... even if you forgot an umbrella. That's right, the luxury of being in a single building all day is gone. No one told me.

2. You actually have to go to class. Yep, they've been lying.  I sat through all of high school hearing "you won't get this treatment in college, your professors won't even care if you come to class!" They were lying! All professors care how much you attend and it even affects your grade.  Rolling my eyes to that "sign in" sheet.

3. Finding someone to date is still hard. Despite the endless amounts of eligible men and women around us, it's still incredibly hard to find someone. And even harder to find someone you want to stay.

4.  You stress eat.  Yep, when those finals come around and you're so stressed your body just starts eating and your appetite spikes.  There's no use in trying to stop it. Shh, just let it happen.







5. Finals will break you.  People just laugh them off like they're nothing but when they come, they come in showers.  Prepare and conquer (if you can).









6. You really do gain weight. They tell you about the freshman fifteen but they don't tell you about the sophomore 20, the junior 25, or the senior 30.  It just keeps adding on.

7. Making a C+ on a science exam makes you act like this. Science classes in college are some kind of hard.  It's like trying to understand why tomorrow isn't today and today isn't last week.  I know, right?






8. The food sucks and it's expensive.  Cafeteria food is the only thing you can afford, yet you can't afford it.  AND it's gross.













9.  You stop caring about how you look.  You find out everyone else doesn't care too and then it's all down hill from there.  We end up looking like Penny by the end of the day.









10.  Studying wears you out.  Despite what people think, mentally worn out is an actual thing.  You can actually study so much you pass out on the ground as if you passed out from hardcore drunkenness. Study drunk.

11. Guys like Chace Crawford don't exist and there's only one Blake Lively and we can't be her.

When It's Okay to Leave

Genesis 2:18 The Lord found a helper for man but also two to be joined as one.  Which is why now it's certainly the most important time to keep this in mind.  Our Savior has created for us the perfect relationship and in these days as we begin to find others and fall in love, or out, we need to know life lessons to guide us along the way.

As I was in the messiest of relationships God showed me afterwards where I was blinded and could not see.  And then I began to find out that many others didn't see it how they should, at least not in the most important time- the time when they needed to leave.

When we're young we tend to sit in relationships thinking we need to continue being the someone we really shouldn't be with and it shields us from prospering to where God needs us to go.

When you just don't like them anymore.  This is one of the ones I struggled with the most which is why it's at the top of the list.  It seemed so selfish, so heartless at the time.  My thoughts were "I mean he's done nothing too terrible, I would be such a horrible person to just up and go after so long."  But it was actually the most heart-less thing I could've done by staying.  By staying when you're not in love anymore you not only hurt yourself from moving forward but you also hold back the one you need to say good-bye to.

When you feel yourself moving on.  There was this brief period I went through when I wanted absolute freedom, I wanted to hang out with my friends and not worry about anything. I wanted to flirt and dress cute for attention I shouldn't have needed or wanted.  But I did want those things and that's when I was already moving on.  I was already setting forward on the path of leaving him behind unexpectedly and without notice.  Which made me the bad guy.

When you're not on the same maturity level.  I get asked ALL the time "why do young girls always want to get married but then end up calling off the engagement (or worse, the marriage) because they want to "live free" again?"  Time and time again I have contemplated this and it's a multitude of reasons.  The first being mentioned above - they have already moved on - and secondly they just aren't mature enough.  Don't be so immature to not leave.

When they're abusive.  Trust me by knowledge of first hand, it does not stop with a little verbal devaluing.  It continues and consumes them and they consume you with it.  It starts out with a simple crippling phrase followed by tears and meaningless apologies and grows into a rapid and common verbal assault and can even leave you physically hurt. But YOU ARE WORTH IT and you don't have to go through it anymore. Leave.

When you can't see a future with them.  It's a sign when you have to try so hard to think of a happy life with them.  When you look to the future and you can't find a place for them and you really don't want to.

When you dread spending time with them.  When you stop desiring to spend as much time with them as possible you begin to drift away.  It's a sure sign of drifting apart and falling out of love. Things should always be vibrant and happy in your relationship, not dreadful.

When you're uncomfortable.  It's supposed to be really easy to be comfortable around the one you love so when you begin to feel out of place and always feel that awkward silence creeping up, it may be your time to pack up.

When it stops being fun.  Relationships are hard and I don't want you to think they're not but relationships are also a ton of fun.  You begin to be each others best friend and everything you do can be laughable.  But when the smiles and giggles stop, there's something wrong.

When they stop being supportive.  When we love someone, our hobbies become their hobbies and vice-versa, even if  we have no interest in them at all, we still go and support them through it all. It's part of our nature.  But when they (or us) stop wanting to supporting you it's time to cut the knot.

When they stop caring.  This one is so hard to miss because it's hidden in the little things they do.  They slowly begin to tread away from you but keep tied around their little finger.  They being to say things like "I don't really care if we don't see each other this week, it's not going to kill us to be apart" or "you don't really deserve that (insert really nice thing you want in the future), I do."  They stop wanting to show you love, they stop wanting to be there for you when you're sick or hurt, they stop caring why you're upset, and they stop fighting for you.

The importance out of all of this is that you understand when you need to leave.  It's important to your health and mentality to know when to leave. And not only for yourself should you move on, but to also give the person you're with the chance to move on and be happy.  Chances are when you're miserable, they are too but are like you and are afraid to leave.  Staying only holds the both of you back from moving forward and getting on with your life and finding true love.

The Bible says he created for man a helper, one that would eventually join with him to make one.  You cannot be a helper when you're half-way moved on, you cannot be one when the other one is treating you as undeserving, you cannot be a helper when you don't like who you're helping, you cannot be one with someone who makes you uncomfortable.

It's okay to leave, it's okay to move on when you feel it's necessary.  The important one is you until you become one, and until then be making sure you want to be ONE with the person you're with.  We're young and allowed to change our mind.  Be happy, be holy-hearted, and be in love.

As always just for you,

M.

P.S. As always my email is always open (found in the Contact page).  Anything you desire to discuss or need help with is my pleasure to guide you in the right direction with.  That's what I'm here for.  My greatest wishes.

Why Complacency is Ruining your Life

On Monday's I always try to write something that will help us all with our week.  So today is Monday and we're all drowsy, tired, ill, dreading the work week along with classes that we are just tired of by now.  We're heading into the middle of the semester and many of us who work know how tiring working and going to school can get and we're all just exhausted.  And the weather is terrible too adding on to the already gloomy day ahead of us.

But why are we so grudgingly dreading this day and more importantly this week?

I, as many others, keep telling myself this is the passing time in my life where I need most to be complacent in my life.  I need to keep ahead in my journey to finish the required credits for my major and I need to push through work because I need the money to keep going to school.  I, as many others, have put my family beneath my radar of importance and my busy week always makes me want to pull my hair out.  I have gone all of this time telling myself that I need to bee complacent to get where I want to be.  But I, and so are you, am wrong.

Complacency can ruin our life as we enjoy it, it makes us bitter, and when we're busy doing things we hate we begin to be filled with hatred.  Which is down right completely toxic to our young life.  It presets our outlook on life and tells us it's okay to be where we are even when we hate it.  We begin each journey with our shoulders rolled back but how many of us today stand with our shoulders in that same position.  How many of us are dreading that class that is so critical to your degree? How many of us are looking forward to going to work to spread happiness and complete our jobs with pure joy?  And I'm not talking about the normal Monday blues, I'm talking about the Whole-Week Blues. The blues you get when you're so consumed with hate that you dread even thinking of the week to come.

Challenge: I challenge you to search deep within your heart this week to find out if you're in the place you need to be. Whether it's your job that is so utterly awful or your major that makes you dread the days ahead, seek to find an answer on what extraordinary thing you should be doing with your life. Are you able to work heartily or is your days consumed with a heavy heart?

Finding the job of your college dreams is easier said than done but it's always very achievable and worth the effort.  Being complacent now is the worst thing for our health as college students.  If we hate something that we do on an every-day basis then we will begin to hate the other things that take up our time as well.  And that is no way to start our life much less our week.  Complacency is not okay.

As always just for you,

M.

10 Things for Singles on Valentines Day

1. Watch all of the Netflix movies you want in one day.  Kick back with your hair in a mess, no makeup, and baggy sweats and watch all of those long put-off movies you promised yourself you'd watch.

2. Dress up and go out. Call another single friend up and invite them to have a nice dinner with you and maybe even a movie.  So what you guys don't have dates? Have fun anyway and stop growling at that couple with googly eyes sitting across from you.  Have googly eyes for yourself on V-day and wow all of those single (or not so single) men out.

3. Cook for yourself.  I know it's not as romantic as when I man does it for you but take some pride in your own delicious recipes today and splurge on yourself.  Then after your tummy is full thank God that you didn't have to share that wonderful masterpiece!

4. Go shopping.  Retail therapy is the realest thing yet.  And on the bright side of you not having a date for tonight, you can spend that extra money on yourself!  Splurge today.

5.  Indulge in sweet treats.  Buy your favorite candy and/or ice cream, lay on the couch (or in your bed) and swim in pleasure as you dive into your favorite sweets.  Pleasure eating is real too.

6.  Do something nice for a friend.  If you know a friend is single, buy them something that will cheer them up like flowers, candy, or food.  In the process of cheering up one of your friends you'll learn that happiness is contagious.  So get out of there quick or so be it.

7.  Bake.  This one is my favorite.  (And it really is different from the above mentioned "cook for yourself") Bake sweets all day long! I personally love theming everything pink and red and heart shaped to get in the (fake) holiday spirit.  Baking also makes me feel like I'll be a really wonderful wife one day.  So on this day better yourself.
TIP: to make heart shaped cupcakes line your cupcake pan with cupcake holders and place a single marble just outside the liner.  Bake until done and wha-lah! Heart shaped cupcakes!

8.  Read a book.  There is nothing better than cozying up with your favorite book and escaping to an alternate universe.  Avoid your nightmarish day with the perfect book.  (I suggest giving Safe Haven a chance. You can never go wrong with Nicholas Sparks.)

9.  Get active.  Use this day to better yourself and go on a hike (with a friend of course).  Put on your hiking shoes and climb baby climb. After you've worked up a sweat you'll be feeling better about yourself.

10. Stop hating Valentines.  This day is just another day.  It has no religious symbolism or other historical relevance.  Think of all the great things you can do today rather than spending money on your valentine in exchange for a small gift that will probably load you with calories followed by a dinner than will leave you bloated.  And if you're too heart strung on this day think about how wonderful it will be when you finally have your prince charming to spend the day with on Valentines.  For now make this day about you.  You deserve it, you are worth it, and you are wonderful.

As always just for you,

M.

How to be On Time

We all struggle with being late.  It was something I always said as a child that I would never be.  It was the one thing I hated more than anything else.  The thing that made me self-conscience walking into church 10 minutes late, walking into school and having my mom sign the tardy slip because we were late.  It was never my fault and I always scorned my mother for it.  But now here I am today as a college student and I’m ALWAYS late.  The one thing I said I would never be has come to haunt me. Until a few months ago that is! I learned the very secret that will change your late habits!

As college students we always want that extra 5, 10, 15 minutes of extra sleep.  We always say “ahh, it doesn't really matter if I show up anyway” as we roll back over in deep satisfaction.  And we have horrible planning skills, I mean we literally wake up 20 minutes before class and expect to make it there.  But let’s be real and acknowledge we’re wrong.  We find ourselves speeding (if you live off campus) or jogging to class breaking through those early AM classes 10 minutes late and it’s NOT okay.  So here’s what to do:

Plan better.  So your class starts at 8 and it takes you 6 minutes to walk there.  Let’s go ahead and say it will take you 10 minutes to walk from your dorm to your class.  Now let’s accommodate for how long it take you to get ready. Say 30 minutes if you’re going to wake up, brush your teeth (I hope so), wash your hair, maybe put on some eye liner and powder, dress in comfortable clothes, and then eat a little breakfast.  That makes 40 minutes total that you need.  Now let’s add an extra 10 minutes to all of that just in case you want to check your social accounts while eating breakfast.  That’s 50 minutes. This means you need to be up by 7:10. 

Set your alarm 20 minutes early. I know it seems like a lot but it really does wonders.  When I hear the alarm in the morning the first thing I think is “I want more time!”  So I hit the snooze, the next time it goes off (8 minutes later) I want more time of course but I also start feeling bad about not getting up.  So at this point I shake it off and get out of the bed to start my day.  If you’re extremely hard at waking up then set it back 30 minutes early.

Set multiple alarms.  Sometimes we get into such a deep sleep we don’t even remember hitting the off button.  Then when it’s too late we wake up panicking.  Setting multiple alarms will increase your chance of making it on time.  Try setting the alarms 6 minutes apart, that way your body can be waking up to hit snooze or turn the alarm off the second time.

Be prepared.  Set out all of your needs for the next day the night before.  This helps so much it’s absolutely amazing!  If all you have to do is pick up the clothes you’re going to wear and put them on and then grab your back-pack then we have an incredibly simple and easy morning to attend to.  This cuts back so much time.  Think about those last minute things you would have to do just to throw some books into your back pack and all the time you didn't waste on trying to decide what to wear.

Outline of your morning: So we have established you need to wake up by 7:10 AM. That means your alarm needs to be set at 6:50 AM and another alarm set for just in case at 6:56 AM.  Now you’re up at 7:10 and you begin getting ready.  Dressing is easy since you only have to pick up the clothes draped over your chair.  Then you go eat breakfast in your dorm or if you’re eating in the campus diner you grab your ready-to-go back pack and you’re on your way.  By the time you get to class you have 5 minutes to spare and can set up your notebook or laptop for class. 

Time is so essential and we need to start treating it like it is now before we get into our big job.  Being late to something can shadow your whole day and there’s really nothing worse than feeling like you’re late for everything during the day.  Start your day right and make it the perfect day every day!

As always just for you,

M. 

A Guide to Planning Your Week

It’s Monday and we’re all tired.  We have tons to do this week but we really don’t know how much.  Not until we’re stressing the night before trying to do 100 different things to get ready for class the next day.  By now we all have those super cute Lilly Pulitzer or Vera Bradley Agendas that we start out using and maybe even write our assignments in but let’s face it, those things really don’t help.  If you’re anything like me then you do what everyone suggest you do and write on each day what is due.  This is so unhelpful in so many different ways.  What we really need is a guide to follow through the week so we’re not stressing the night before something is due to complete it.  So I figured out an easy way to compile a list for the week to go off of. 

Firstly, go get those syllabi you threw under some binder.  For the week that it is 2/9/15-2/15/15 skim and highlight each week listed on your syllabus.  So you see things like Exam 2 for Wednesday 2/11/15 and Homework due Friday 2/13/15.  Now you’re stressed but don’t worry! It’s only Monday and things are about to get easier.

Write down each thing you have to do for this week.  Including all assignment, all homework questions, all tests, everything you have to do on one sheet of paper like I have above.

Now, think about your daily schedule.  For example, I know I have to work on Monday from 7AM-2:30 PM and I have no classes on Monday so I know that I have the rest of the evening to do homework. I label at the top of a new sheet of paper Monday:, I write underneath Work 7-2:30, underneath that out of the margin line I write the class name “Justice Science:” I write Draft Discussion 1 which is also one of the things I put on my “to-do list” sheet.  Since that’s the only thing I really need to do in that class for today I go onto the next subject. I write out in the margins Statistics: and inside the margins I write the percentage of homework I want to get done today.  This goes on and on until I get through with each subject.  Since my test in ES lab is Wednesday, I do all of the ES lab homework tonight since I know the deadline isn’t too far away. 

I continue to write out the rest of my week as I did for Monday considering the time I have for each task.  Since Tuesday is busier than Monday I have less things on my list to do and since Wednesday is almost completely free I have a larger list than both Monday and Tuesday.  This list provides me with confidence in knowing I have scheduled each task out and assures me that I can meet my deadlines in a timely manner.  Once I finish things off of the list I will put a check mark beside each task symbolizing that I have completed the job. 

If you are an avid user of your agenda you can also copy each day’s task onto the day you have assigned.  This list allows you to compile a more detailed list of things you need to do each day and takes you away from that panic that you get when you think you’re not going to have enough time to complete an assignment. 

As always just for you,

M.